Something to believe in
by Kaiyashu
Summary: Ch.11 is here! When he's about to give up, Yuffie gives Vincent something to believe in. Yuffentine Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: This story is dedicated to Yuffiie Kisaragi and JestaAriadne, the people who reviewed my first fic. They've made me so happy!! If I were any happier, I'd probably explode. O_o I would like to personally thank them for taking time to read and review my short Yuffie fic.  
  
This is my second fic, and yes.it's a Yuffentine. Because those two are my favorite characters of all time, you can bet I'll be writing about them quite a bit.  
  
This story takes place a few nights after the fall of Sephiroth.  
  
Something to believe in  
  
The victory party was certainly one to remember. Everyone was cheering and celebrating the victory over Sephiroth, celebrating the fact that they had saved the planet from a cruel end. There was drinking and laughing, and everyone was having a good time. Well, almost everyone.  
  
Vincent Valentine stood on the balcony of the Highwind, leaning on the railing. As he stood motionless, he reflected upon the events of their quest. AVALANCHE had pulled him out of his coffin, the prison that had held him for thirty tortured years, and they'd shown him what was happening to the world outside. He had joined their colorful team to put an end to the threat of Sephiroth.  
  
All he'd wanted was to get revenge on Hojo, the man who'd ruined the lives of many people. He'd gotten his revenge, too. Hojo had died by his hands and thus, he was avenged. His angel, however, hadn't waited for him. She had mysteriously vanished, or so it seemed. All he had found when he revisited her cave was a vial filled with purple liquid.  
  
Chaos.  
  
He'd taken the mixture that turned him into the violet monstrosity. Chaos was a frightening force to be reckoned with. The abomination's cruel attacks had killed many a monster and had helped defeat their final enemy, Sephiroth. Once Sephiroth had been defeated, he'd rushed back to Lucrecia's cave to find his angel, but she was still nowhere to be found. Later on, he had found her frozen corpse at the bottom of the waterfall. She had killed herself.  
  
What else was there to live for? His angel had forsaken him.not once, but twice. Her death only proved that she didn't want to be with him. Almost everyone he'd known in his old life was dead. His home, now nonexistent, was nowhere to be found. All he had left was the Shinra Mansion and himself.  
  
A small shadowy figure crept up behind Vincent, who was too preoccupied with his morbid thoughts to notice. Yuffie had been watching him for quite a while, wondering why in the world he wasn't having fun with everyone else. She slowly tiptoed closer to him, out of his field of vision. The muscles in her legs coiled like a cat's as she crouched down silently.  
  
With a loud whoop, she leaped upon the unsuspecting Vincent. As a result of her action, she landed gracelessly on the dark man, toppling them both over the side of the airship and to the soft grass below.  
  
With a groan, the gunman looked up at her. Yuffie gave him one of her best "I-am-so cute" smiles and cheerfully said, "Thanks for breaking my fall, Vinnie! You're such a gentleman!" She'd landed on him, of course, and felt she should try to lighten his mood with a little humor. "So, does the grass feel nice down there?" She asked, jokingly.  
  
"Yuffie, would you mind letting me up?" Vincent asked.  
  
"Can I have your materia?" Yuffie questioned back.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then you can't get up."  
  
Vincent sighed. He wanted to get off the ground, but pushing her off would've been the wrong way to go about it, not to mention rude. Instead, he sighed and Yuffie asked, "What's wrong Vinnie? Why aren't you celebrating and having fun? Why are you all alone out here, being morbid?" Vincent dragged a hand through his hair. "You wouldn't understand." He murmured.  
  
"What wouldn't I understand?" She demanded, taking hold of his shirt and shaking him a little, "I'm SO sick of hearing people say that to me! I'm not a child, Vincent! I could understand it if you'd just tell me what it is!" Vincent was quiet as her stormy gray eyes stared into his blood red eyes, daring him to tell her she was wrong. He knew what the result of that would be. She'd yell at him until she was blue in the face.  
  
"Very well, I'll tell you." He sighed, moving to sit up. Yuffie slid off his stomach and onto his legs to oblige him. Once he was somewhat comfortable, he began to tell her of his thoughts before she'd jumped him- about the loss of his home, his humanity, and his love. Several times during his story, she put a hand to her lips in surprise. Finally, the tale was over.  
  
"Oh Vinnie, that's so sad." Yuffie sighed, chewing lightly on the tips of her nails as she felt bad for him. "It is simply the way my life has turned out." Vincent said softly, "I just don't know what to believe in anymore." Yuffie determined right then that she wasn't going to let him suffer anymore. He wasn't even responsible for some of his "sins", so why should he have to suffer any more than he already had?  
  
"Well, you can bet your ass that I'LL give you something to believe in!" She climbed to her feet and grabbed him by the wrist, "Come on Vinnie!" With a great deal of effort, she dragged him to his feet. "What are we doing?" Vincent asked the young ninja. "First, we're going to go celebrate with the others. After that, you're coming with me!" Yuffie exclaimed as she dragged him towards the Highwind. Vincent's eyes went wide. He had no idea what Yuffie was planning, and that in itself was frightening.  
  
Author's note: This story will be my first ongoing fanfic. I hope you all like it! As you know, this will be a Yuffentine, but that doesn't mean I'll neglect the other characters! I'll get chapter 2 up soon! 


	2. Around the world in a day

Author's note: Yeah, this is another short one. I'm working on making my chapters a little longer. Don't worry though, the chapters will increase in length as I go. By the way, things between these things: /./ are thoughts and things between these: . are memories.  
  
  
  
Around the world in a day  
  
The celebration ended around four in the morning, each person in the team sleeping in until noon or so. Once everyone had woken up, Cid lifted the Highwind off the ground and was steering it towards Cosmo Canyon. Red XIII seemed a bit anxious to get back to his people and make sure everyone was alright. A smile played across Yuffie's face as she stroked Red XIII's nose, knowing he didn't like the action.  
  
"Yuffie, must you do that? You know how that bothers me." The lion-like beast reminded her. The ninja's smile widened and she hugged Red as tightly as she could, squeezing until he informed her that he was turning blue. A few moments later, she felt her stomach do a flip as the airship landed. She released her grip on him and waved good bye as he leapt from the airship and ran to his village.  
  
The dilapidated town of Corel was next. Cid lifted off the ground quickly and Yuffie's stomach followed suit. Barret found her in her usual spot, being sick. "Yo brat! You okay over there?" Barret asked, with his version of concern. Yuffie, being busy at the moment, couldn't answer and the big man came over to pat her shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll be at Corel soon." He tried his hand at comfort, but when she said nothing to his first statement, he tried to be helpful, "I don't know anything about motion sickness, but have ya tried not eating before ya travel?" At this, Yuffie turned green and became sick even more. "Uh.How about I tell you about the first time I fought a monster?" Barret suggested, giving Yuffie a tranquilizer.  
  
After she'd taken the bitter concoction, Yuffie relaxed against the wall, hoping her stomach would calm down. Taking this as a sign from the young shinobi to tell her, he began his tale. "One day, while campin' with a group of friends, we got attacked by a horrible monster. That thang was growlin' an' roarin' and rippin' people apart! So I gets up an' start firin' at it. Blam! Blam! Take THAT, Foo! I hit the thang in the eye. You shoulda seen it explode! Eyeball guts all over the place."  
  
Yuffie put her hand to her mouth to keep from vomiting as Barret continued his gruesome tale, "Anyway, it ripped into the guy closest to me, takin' his legs out. I ain't kiddin' ya! All he had left were two bloody little stumps an' they were goin' like this." He wiggled two fingers quickly. "Then alla sudden, BOOM! This huge explosion! There was blood and guts and spittin' ass--"  
  
Yuffie leaped to her feet and made a mad dash for the stairs to the outside of the ship. She made it to the railing just in time to spill her guts over the side. When she was finished, she staggered backwards and fell squarely on her butt. Moments later, a pretty brunette's face appeared above her. "Tifa?" The small ninja asked.  
  
"Hey there Yuffie, how are you feeling?" Tifa asked, leaning over her. "I feel like crap." Yuffie replied truthfully and held her stomach. "Aw, poor Yuffie," Tifa spoke in a soothing voice, "Tell me what's the matter." Yuffie began with her motion sickness, which Tifa could sympathize with her condition, then she told the other girl about Barret's story.  
  
"He was talking about spitting ass. Spitting ASS!! I never thought I would hear anyone use that term!" The younger girl exclaimed. Tifa giggled at this, prompting Yuffie to ask, "What's so funny?" Once the older woman had successfully stopped her laughter, she burst out, "Spitting ass! Did he actually say that?" Yuffie started giggling madly at the term herself, soon joined again by Tifa. She was so wrapped up in the hilarious term, she didn't notice the Highwind had landed.  
  
Barret emerged from below, casting both girls a curious look and wondering what they were laughing about. After each girl hugged him and wished him luck, he made his way to his hometown.  
  
The girls then turned and went below deck again.  
  
Cid Highwind looked around the cockpit with pride. Even though the previous night's victory party was noisy and messy, the cockpit cleaned up nicely. The shiny surface of the polished metal gleamed in the sunlight that entered through the streak-free windows. The cockpit was spotless, totally clean. It was something to be proud of, and it was his.  
  
Cloud stood at the very front of the ship, his eyes watching the landscape as it sped by below them. Cid had thought Cloud would be spending time with Tifa, as he was her childhood friend, but it wasn't so. Tifa was keeping Yuffie busy, to keep her mind off her motion sickness. A good thing too, as Cid didn't want to clean up after a sick and vomiting Yuffie.  
  
Cait Sith was finally behaving himself, but it had taken several rounds of: "Hey you goddamn cat! Get the hell away from the controls and quit botherin' my damn crew!" The robotic cat was now sitting peacefully atop his huge stuffed moogle, playing with his megaphone. He wanted to go back to the diseased city of Midgar.  
  
First things first though. Since they were already over the center continent, they might as well head to Costa del Sol to drop Cloud and Tifa off at the villa. It would only take a few minutes to get there. He had a good idea what they might want to do there, but didn't voice his opinion. Though he wasn't sure if their leader was over the loss of Aeris, he thought he saw Cloud look at Tifa as if he thought of her as more than just a friend.  
  
Either way, it wasn't his business. His business included going home to Rocket Town. As he reached inside the pocket of his jacket, he smiled and ran his fingers over the box inside. He had a little surprise in store for Shera. His only hope was that she'd accept it.  
  
Vincent stood in his usual spot, silently contemplating what Yuffie had said to him the previous night. 'I'll give you something to believe in.' What had she meant by that? Furthermore, what was she plotting for the both of them? The idea of Yuffie in total control frightened him. What would she do?  
  
Within a matter of minutes, Cloud and Tifa disembarked and headed into Costa del Sol. Then the airship headed for Midgar, or what was left of it. Soon Cait Sith was gone too, leaving only Yuffie, Vincent, and Cid. The pilot turned to look at the dark man and said, "I'll drop you off at the Shinra Mansion after we leave Wutai. Hope you don't mind, but I don't want that kid ralphing all over my ship.  
  
"There is no need to go to the old mansion." Vincent replied tonelessly, "I will be accompanying Yuffie to Wutai." The cigarette almost fell out of Cid's mouth. "WHAT?!" He demanded of the gunman, "You're going with her? Why?" Vincent turned to him, "It would be a waste of fuel to take me to the Shinra Mansion, then backtrack to Rocket Town. Don't you agree?"  
  
"It's not a problem Vince! I just wanna know why you're going to Wutai with the kid." Cid said flatly. For a while, the dark man was silent, then he softly murmured, "She is helping me with something. Let's leave it at that." His thoughts drifted to the young shinobi that was so young, so full of life. / She's going to give me something to believe in. / He thought to himself, / I wonder what that could be. /  
  
Author's note: Poor Yuffie. Motion sickness must really be horrible. O_o To those of you who've ever seen the movie Major Payne, the term "Spittin' ass" sounds very familiar. It should. The term was used when he was telling the little boy a bedtime story. Congrats to anyone who got that one. 


	3. Bedtime at Yuffie's place

Author's Note: All right! Chapter Three!! I'm so mean for making you all wait a few days for this. Sorry for the wait. I know it's only been a few days, but I like to update as quickly as possible. I don't want to keep you waiting too long. I know I don't like waiting forever for an anticipated chapter, so I won't keep you waiting. Congrats to Kittie for remembering the movie Major Payne. And I must say, go rent it and watch the rest of it. Trust me, you'll love the ending.  
  
On with my fic! Mwahahahaha!!!  
  
Bedtime at Yuffie's place  
  
"Yuffie?" Vincent whispered.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Why are we sneaking into Wutai?"  
  
"I already told you, so we don't draw attention." Yuffie explained in a hushed tone as they tiptoed behind the house at the main entrance. So far, they'd been lucky. No one had spotted them and rushed to greet them. She could see her house a little ways away. They were almost home free. Almost. All they had to do was sneak up the steps before anyone noticed.  
  
"Yuffie?"  
  
"What?!" She whisper-screamed.  
  
"Why am I in drag?" Vincent asked quietly, as they slowly crept towards her house.  
  
"In case we get caught." The young shinobi answered, barely stifling a giggle. She'd undeniably had the time of her life when she'd dressed him up and put makeup on him. Of course, he didn't particularly enjoy it, but complied when Yuffie insisted on it. "Besides," she giggled, "you look so pretty in your dress. It matches your eyes."  
  
The dark man almost groaned, but remained quiet. He didn't want to blow their cover, after all. It was humiliating enough to be clothed in a flowing red dress, but it'd be much worse if he were caught in it. At Yuffie's command, they made a mad dash for the stairs to her town house.  
  
Thankfully, they made it without alerting anyone to their presence. Vincent was thankful for that. Once they were inside, he checked around, then took the dress off. "Wow! Nice undies, Vinnie! I didn't know you wore briefs!" He heard Yuffie say, and nearly jumped out of his skin. He'd thought she had gone to make sure no one had seen them. Apparently it wasn't so. "Please forgive me, Yuffie," he began, "I didn't think you were right there and-"  
  
"Don't worry about it!" She grinned up at him, "Gawd! You're so uptight, Vinnie! You need to learn to loosen up!" He was pulling on his clothes in the corner, already dressed in his pants and slipping his arms through the sleeves of his shirt. "Leave it unbuttoned." Yuffie ordered before he could button his shirt up. "What?" The dark man asked, lifting an ebony brow.  
  
"Leave it unbuttoned, Vinnie." She repeated, "It looks good." Vincent shrugged his shoulders and decided that arguing with Yuffie would be futile, thus letting it hang open to expose his finely sculpted chest and torso. His companion handed him a bowl of water and a cloth, which he took gratefully. Immediately, he began to scrub the makeup from his face while Yuffie set up a spare futon for him.  
  
The moment he had dried his clean face, he was assaulted by a giggling Yuffie armed with a pillow. She laughed wickedly as she whacked him with the pillow over and over. Holding up his arm to block any more hits, he grabbed the pillow she'd set out for him and returned her pillow attacks. She shrieked in mock anger at him and swatted him a good one, making him stumble back a little.  
  
He came forward, ready to swat her with the pillow, but the small ninja saw it coming and blocked the hit. "HA!!" She laughed, then suddenly found herself face up on her futon with her pillow in Vincent's hands. "Uh oh." She said in a very small voice.  
  
Needless to say, Vincent defeated her in the very pillow fight she had instigated.  
  
After the bout, the two of them lay sprawled out on the floor, exhausted. "Wow, I didn't think you'd fight back." Yuffie commented, fiddling with his long black hair. It was much softer than she'd expected it to be, and it felt cool against her warm skin. "It was better than having you beat me senseless with a pillow." He remarked, not bothering to pull his hair away.  
  
"Are you going to keep me here for long?" Vincent asked, wondering if he was doomed to spend the rest of his life sneaking around and hiding. Yuffie looked at him with a disapproving frown. "You make it sound like you're my prisoner!" She exclaimed, twisting the lock of hair around her fingers. "Aren't I?" He asked in a less than serious tone. His answer was to be thwacked hard in the stomach with a pillow.  
  
"Don't worry, Vinnie. We're only staying here for tonight." The young shinobi said, tossing her pillow to her futon.  
  
"Just for tonight? Why is that?" The dark man asked, sitting up.  
  
"Because you," She put her finger on the tip of his nose, "and I are going to go traveling!!" The gunman lifted a brow. "Why did we stop here if you just wanted to leave again?" He asked. She giggled, and sat up, then pinched his cheek. "Duh, I wanted to get some new clothes to wear. That, and the fact that we need food and money." Yuffie explained.  
  
"Very well then. We'll need to get to the nearest continent. Did you plan on calling Cid to pick us up again?" Vincent questioned. She shook her head. "Then how will we cross the ocean?" He asked her. "I see you have no faith in me." She sighed, then grinned evilly, "We can use my father's chocobo! It's a nice blue one, and it likes me!" Vincent's eyes widened at the thought of crossing the ocean on a blue chocobo with a seasick Yuffie.  
  
"Are you sure that's a good idea, Yuffie?" He asked, picturing himself covered in her breakfast, "Won't you get sick?"  
  
"Me? I'll be fine if I'm the one holding the reins!" She chirped. Somehow, that didn't quite ease his mind.  
  
"Dare I ask what time we'll be leaving?" He questioned, somewhat worried by his companion's cheerful attitude towards going back out to the sea. She stretched back out on the floor and looked up at the ceiling, as if seeing the stars through it. She sighed, content, then answered, "We're leaving at the butt-crack of dawn."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Geez, Vinnie, didn't you hear me? We're leaving at the butt-crack of dawn!!" She exclaimed, rising up. "Why are we leaving so soon?" Vincent asked, watching as Yuffie went to her futon and sat down. "I want to get an early start." She explained, "Maybe the waves won't be so bad in the morning."  
  
Vincent could only hope that the waves would be docile in the early morning. "Don't you want to see your father before we leave?" He asked, wondering if that was such a good idea. He didn't want Godo to attack him for staying the night with his only daughter. "Nope, I'll let him worry about me. Why should I tell him where I'm going? It's not like he cares, because he sure as hell didn't when he sent me looking for materia! I don't have anything to do around here anyway." She said, laying down on her futon.  
  
"I'm sure your father cares about you, Yuffie." Vincent argued, trying to offer a little comfort.  
  
"Maybe. But I still want to leave without letting anyone know we were here." Yuffie said with finality, "Now get some sleep. Tomorrow, we ride!" With that, she snuggled into her futon and closed her eyes. Vincent stared at her for a few moments, then climbed into the one next to hers and rolled onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling, envisioning tomorrow's ride on her father's chocobo.  
  
Author's Note: What horrors will Vincent find at sea? Find out in the next chapter. It'll probably be up on Monday or Tuesday. Thanks to all who reviewed! And be sure to check out my first fic: Pounce! Materia Girl Strikes Again! for some Yuffie cuteness! I posted chapter 2. See you all next chapter! 


	4. The Heaving Sea

Author's Note: This is for all my loyal reviewers! Thank you! I'm glad you liked chapter three. And now, without further ado.  
  
Chapter four.  
  
The Heaving Sea  
  
The pair sat atop a majestic blue chocobo, staring down at the water. They were still on the land, the blue chocobo looking longingly at the water. Vincent was perched behind Yuffie, who was holding the reins to the bird's harness. To him, they were the reins of doom, for they would surely lead them both to a cruel fate. He could just see it now...  
  
They'd be riding along and suddenly, Yuffie would throw up on herself, him, and her father's chocobo. The sudden feeling of it would startle the bird, making it thrash with terror. It would lose it's balance and fall into the ocean, drowning and pulling them down with it. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Vincent asked, eyeing the water.  
  
"You bet your ass I do!!" The young ninja exclaimed, then dug her heels into the bird. They took off at a nice, slow pace. They were about five yards from land when suddenly, Yuffie burst into song, "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beeeeeer! Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall!"  
  
Vincent prayed that she wouldn't sing the entire song. He used to sing it as a child when he was bored. /It isn't possible that she could be bored already. Or was it?!/ Vincent's stomach tightened at the thought, but he also noticed something else. Yuffie wasn't getting sick. Not a groan, gag, or stomach clench.  
  
He stared at the young shinobi seated in front of him. The sea breeze was making her lower legs wet, the result being the sunlight glistening off of them. He suddenly felt lonely, remembering Lucrecia, and how he'd admired her when the rain had fallen on her. How he'd longed to make her truly his.  
  
But that was another lifetime ago, before he'd been shot, before the experiments. Before she'd rejected him, told him she'd never loved him. Before everything as he knew it changed, before Sephiroth. His life was changed forever because of the woman in white. Nothing would ever be the same for him again.  
  
"73 bottles of beer on the wall, 73 bottles of beeeeeer! Take one down, pass it around, 72 bottles of beer on the wall!" Yuffie continued to shout. /Of course it wouldn't be the same./ He thought, noting the horribly loud tone Yuffie was using. Her bellowing would probably drive the bird insane.  
  
An image suddenly came to his mind, one that he didn't care to recall, but his eyes were seeing it anyway. Two figures dangled off the face of one of the massive Da-Chao statues, both female. Yuffie and the female turk, Elena. And holding the key to their survival was a pimp from the slums, Don Corneo. The man supposedly wanted a new wife, and would've tried out Yuffie if he and the others hadn't stopped that lunatic.  
  
It could've been prevented, it should've been...  
  
"48 bottles of beer on the wall, 48 bottles of beeeeeer! Take one down, pass it around, 47 bottles of beer on the wall!" She shouted tonelessly. Vincent groaned as he heard her singing suddenly get louder once the waves started rolling beneath them. He dragged a hand through his hair in aggravation.  
  
The ocean seemed to stretch on forever and ever, to Vincent anyway. It could have been the fear of Yuffie suddenly tossing her breakfast all over the chocobo, or it could've been her song. Either way, the dark man couldn't wait to see dry land once more. He would be overjoyed when they reached solid ground again.  
  
"36 bottles of beer on the wall, 36 bottles of beeeeeeer! You take one down, pass it around, 35 bottles of beer on the wall!" The shinobi yelled, making the bird trot.  
  
/Why must she shout the words?/ Vincent wondered miserably, /Does she really need to make so much noise in order to keep her stomach settled?/ The plus side was, she'd increased the chocobo's pace to a run now, probably sensing that she was driving her companion insane.  
  
She broke out of the song to tell her father's chocobo he was doing a good job and that he'd get a reward for behaving in a little while, then she continued her song. Apparently, the bird had done this before and was used to it. Or maybe it was deaf. Vincent envied the bird.  
  
When Yuffie was down to the 10 bottles of beer verse, she stretched a little and took a deep breath, getting ready to yell some more. Vincent had covered his ears once she'd reached "21 bottles of beer." She started singing again.  
  
Finally, after several more verses, she reached the last one. "One bottle of beer on the wall, one bottle of beeeeeer! You take it down, pass it around...No bottles of beer on the wall." Yuffie was suddenly quiet, then asked, "Vinnie? What would happen if someone really drank that much beer?"  
  
He uncovered his ears and smiled down at the curious ninja seated before him, glad she'd stopped singing. "They'd probably die of alcohol poisoning." He answered, enjoying the silence for the moment. He knew it wouldn't last long. "Oh." Yuffie said, then, "I'm going to give Aqua his treat now." Her father's blue chocobo warked happily.  
  
Yuffie reached back to get the bag of greens behind her companion and grabbed. She didn't get the bag of greens though. Vincent's eyes widened a bit as he stared down into hers, which were wider than his as she realized her hand was not grasping the bag, but was firmly gripping his butt. They stayed frozen like that for several moments.  
  
Finally, the wark of Aqua, Godo's blue chocobo, snapped them out of it. Yuffie blushed so deeply, her cheeks were almost the color of Vincent's cloak. "Sorry for grabbin' your butt, Vinnie." Yuffie said shyly, "I was reaching for the bag of greens."  
  
Vincent reached back, grabbed the bag, and handed it to her. "Here." He murmured. She snatched a few greens and held them out for the chocobo, who scarfed them down within seconds. They sat in silence for a while, as the bird raced over the waves.  
  
Suddenly, Yuffie felt her stomach begin to churn. She burst into song once more, startling Vincent. "I'm Henry the eighth I am! Henry the eighth I am, I am! I got married to the widow next door. She's been married seven times before. And everybody love a Henry- Henry! Henry the eighth I am, I am! Henry the eighth I am! Second verse, same as the first. A little bit louder and a little bit WORSE!"  
  
"Yuffie," Vincent interrupted, "Couldn't you sing another song?" Yuffie thought quietly for a moment, then perked up, a new song coming to mind.  
  
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes..." Yuffie began to shout over and over.  
  
/Enough is enough!/ Vincent thought in agony as she repeated herself over and over. He reached forward and knocked her out as gently as he could, the girl falling limply into his arms. He heard the chocobo wark in approval and could swear it almost skipped the rest of the way across the ocean.  
  
Yuffie woke up a while later, feeling a bit dazed and lightheaded. She sat up and realized they weren't on the ocean anymore, but on dry land. Vincent was sitting on a rock, cleaning his gun with a smile. She hadn't ever seen him this happy before and figured he just needed to get out more. If she could make him smile, maybe she could make him laugh too, and truly be happy.  
  
She climbed to her feet, a bit uneasy, and walked over to Vincent. "Hey Vinnie, where are we?" She asked him. He looked up at her and smiled. "Rocket Town is not far off in that direction," he pointed, "and the Nibel Mountains are that way."  
  
"Well, let's head to Rocket Town for tonight. It's getting dark anyway." Yuffie stretched and looked down at the ground. Her bags sat there with Vincent's and the chocobo was nowhere in sight. "Oh my gawd! Where's my Dad's bird?!" She began to panic.  
  
"Calm yourself, Yuffie. The chocobo went back to Wutai. It'll be fine." Vincent soothed.  
  
"But now we have to walk!"  
  
"A little excersize never hurt anyone. Besides, we can't take it through the mountains anyway."  
  
At her frustrated growl, Vincent picked up the bags and offered an arm to her. "Let's get going. If we go now, we should make it before nightfall." He explained as he felt Yuffie hook her arm in his. "All right, let's go." She agreed. With that, they walked towards their destination for tonight, Rocket Town.  
  
Author's Note: Poor Vincent! I probably would've gone insane if I were in his place! I hope everyone liked this chapter. It was fun writing it. The next chapter will probably be up in a few days. I promise you that the next chapter will contain MORE of Yuffie's singing! Mwa ha ha ha ha! What do I have in store for poor Vincent? Well, you'll see... 


	5. A night at the Shanghai Inn

Author's Note: Finally, I got around to writing chapter five. Sorry, I've been SO busy with my wedding, but this chapter will hopefully make up for it. Thanks goes to yosaj, a friend of mine, and to all those who reviewed and stayed on my butt! My deepest apologies for being so late, I will NEVER be this late again!  
  
A night at the Shanghai Inn  
  
"Vincent?" Yuffie asked, "I have a question."  
  
"Yes, Yuffie?" Vincent asked.  
  
"Couldn't you have let the bird go AFTER we got to Rocket Town?! I don't get motion sickness if I'm riding a chocobo on land!" She exclaimed as they tracked across the plains. "You should've informed me about it. I would've gladly kept it with us." Vincent murmured in response.  
  
"Do I have to tell you everything?" Yuffie asked, tired of walking.  
  
"It would be nice." He replied, wondering what she would do tonight.  
  
Finally, they came upon Rocket Town, Cid's hometown. Not much had changed since they'd last seen it, but several new houses were being added. Several people who had escaped from Midgar had scattered all over the world, moving into the other towns. Rocket Town had so many houses being built in it, it would soon have to change its name to Rocket City.  
  
"Wow..." Yuffie gasped, "This place is getting bigger too, just like Wutai."  
  
"Most places are starting to expand. The refugees from Midgar must have fled to different places all over the world." Vincent said thoughtfully, glancing around. The shops were getting bigger as well, as was the hotel and bar. It looked as if Cid was doing well, and it had only been a few days when they'd last seen him. Perhaps he'd like some company...  
  
"Shall we pay Cid a visit?" Vincent suggested.  
  
"Yeah! That'd be great!"  
  
They walked over to Cid's house and Yuffie was about to knock on the door, when Vincent stopped her. "What?" Yuffie asked, puzzled as to why he'd stopped her. He was quiet for several seconds, listening to something she couldn't hear, then turned her away from the building and led her away. "What are you doing? I thought you wanted to see Cid!"  
  
"Erm...Now is not the time. We'll come back tomorrow." Vincent quickly said in a low voice as he half-pushed her away from Cid's house. "Why tomorrow? Why can't we see the old geezer now?" She asked, trying to resist being pushed through town. Her efforts to bring the both of them to a halt were in vain however, when he grew tired of Yuffie's resistance and picked her up. He promptly slung her over his shoulder and carried the small, yet angry, shinobi the rest of the distance to the hotel.  
  
"Hey! Put me down! Vin-CENT!!" She started pounding on his back with her two small fist. Her efforts had no effect on him whatsoever and she gave an angry growl of frustration as he calmly made his way to the Shanghai Inn.  
  
The woman at the counter had to do a double take when they came through the door. The dark gunman looked as serene as one could get, the ninja on his shoulder seemingly wasn't heavy at all, according to his perfect posture. She could've weighed as much as a sack of potatoes, for all the lady knew, as the man was supposedly unaffected by her meager weight.  
  
The ninja in question was not calm, was in fact, spewing threats at her companion. She was beating on his back, pulling on his cloak, and using words that would make a sailor turn red with shame. It was apparent that she was furious with her companion and she certainly intended to let him know it.  
  
"We need a room with two beds. Do you have one available?" Vincent asked calmly, digging around in his pockets for some gil. The woman started at him dumbly for a moment, then snapped out of it. "Uh, yes. Yes we do, and it's a very nice room." She said in a rush of breath.  
  
"Ah, good. We'll take it then." Vincent murmured, pulling his wallet out from his back pocket as Yuffie began to chew on his head. The woman turned several shades of pale before settling on a dead white. All she could see in her mind was Yuffie chewing on an unaffected Vincent's head. It took the clerk a few moments to realize that Vincent was waving the payment at her. She hastily took it and handed him the door key.  
  
"Thank you." He said quietly, carrying Yuffie up the stairs. Yuffie, having lost interest in biting his head when she'd gotten no response from him, had given up while the clerk was in her stupor and was now hanging silently over his shoulder. Her cheeks were slightly red from embarrassment. Not from being slung over his shoulder, but because he'd placed his hand on her rear to keep her from falling when he started climbing the stairs.  
  
"Vinnie, you pervert!" She squeaked out jokingly as he reached the top of the stairs. "What?" He asked, turning his head towards her, but only seeing her posterior on his shoulder. "What do you mean, 'What'? You've only been groping my butt the whole way up the stairs!" Yuffie teased. She could feel him tense up beneath her and if she could've seen his face, she would've seen it was almost as red as his cloak.  
  
"I was only making sure you didn't fall off." Vincent protested.  
  
"Suuuuuuuuure you were." Yuffie said, grinning like a cheshire cat. She knew he was being truthful, but he was just SO fun to tease. /Besides,/ Yuffie thought, /he knows I'm only kidding...right?/ "And since YOU groped MY butt, that means that I can grab YOUR butt!!" She giggled and playfully latched onto his butt.  
  
The resulting noise was one she'd never heard Vincent make before. Or anyone else, for that matter. Nor had she ever seen him launch himself three feet forward in utter surprise. The next thing she knew was that she was off his shoulder, in his arms, and looking up at a disheveled, wide eyed, and panting Vincent. She looked up at him nervously, noticing a few strands of his hair sticking out waywardly and knowing she was in trouble. Then she gave him what was possibly the cutest grin on the face of the earth, hoping for the best.  
  
There was a long, almost unbearable silence...  
  
All of a sudden, Vincent burst out laughing, startling Yuffie at the sudden noise. The shinobi listened to him laugh, finding the rich, full-throated laughter to be one of the most beautiful things she'd ever heard. She smiled, feeling her heart flutter at the sound and a warm sensation suddenly spread through her. Yes, this was just the beginning of what she'd set out to do - give him something to believe in. She'd still have a ways to go, but it was a start, and a welcome one at that.  
  
She was still smiling at him with a dreamy look in her eyes, even after he'd finished laughing. "What is it?" He asked, smoothing the strands of his hair that were sticking out. "I've never really heard you laugh before." She admitted, feeling a little shy, "I was just thinking of how good it sounds. I liked it."  
  
Vincent smiled at her, and she smiled back up at him. "So where's our room, Mr. Mess?" He chuckled and ruffled her hair until it was all tangled. "This way, Princess Rat's Nest." The gunman replied and motioned for her to go ahead of him. "Was that a joke? Oh Vinnie, I'm so proud of you!" Yuffie giggled and stuck her nose in the air as far as she could and marched down the hall. Her companion stuck his tongue out briefly, then followed.  
  
"Hey Vinnie?"  
  
"Yes, Yuffie?"  
  
"Why are we waiting until tomorrow to visit Cid?" Yuffie asked, laying comfortably on her back.  
  
"Uh..." He faltered, "It'd be better if we visited him during the day, don't you think so?"  
  
"I don't think he'd mind if we popped in tonight." She said, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
"Oh, he'd mind."  
  
Yuffie looked over at Vincent, who was lying on his own bed. "What do you mean?"  
  
"...Nothing."  
  
An idea struck her suddenly and she shot up into a sitting position, eyes wide with shock. Vincent looked over at her and sat up, concerned. She was muttering 'ohmygawd, ohmygawd, ohmygawd' over and over again. "Yuffie?" He asked.  
  
"They're bumping uglies!" Yuffie's eyes were getting big.  
  
"Huh?" He asked.  
  
"He's feeding her his BEEF!!" She exclaimed, freaking out.  
  
"WHAAAT?!" Vincent almost went into shock.  
  
"They're making whoopie, Vinnie!! Grossness!!" Yuffie shuddered, "You should've told me earlier! I would've ran like hell in the opposite direction!" She stared at her hands for a moment then made an obscene hand gesture that involved dipping a finger in and out of the tunnel she made with her opposite hand. "When I think of CID doing...doing...THIS," She went double-time on the gesture, "I just...ew. I mean, wouldn't it be all wrinkly and crusty with liver spots?"  
  
That was NOT an image Vincent wanted in his head.  
  
Author's Note: That's it for now, I'll be back in about a week with the next chapter. The "R" rating is for future chapters. See you then. 


	6. MBoD

Author's Note: All right, my loyal readers, it's time to step it up a bit. This chapter marks the beginning of my perversion, dear readers, and trust me-as the story goes on, it'll be much more...descriptive, to put it nicely.  
  
M.B.o.D. (Mega Boner of Doom)  
  
The moon was just a sliver tonight, providing minimal light as it shined weakly in the sparkling, starry sky. The hotel bed wasn't the most comfortable bed Yuffie had ever slept in-she hadn't expected it to be-but almost anything would have been better. A pile of rocks would even have been more preferable than the cold, lumpy bed she resided in. She pulled the thin, scratchy blanket up to her chin and shivered in the cold of the room. If only she hadn't chosen the bed by the window...  
  
But the view of the night sky had been so beautiful, she chose to sleep next to the window. On the plus side, the starry sky seemed immaculate and unmarred by clouds. Then again, the damn air conditioner was next to the window, between her bed and the wall. Why did hotels always do that?! Even worse, when she'd tried to turn it off, the switch broke in her hand, killing off all thoughts of a warm night. The air conditioner made the air so freaking cold...  
  
She snuggled into her bed and gazed out the window. /Not much moon tonight/ She thought, unable to see much of anything, save for the night sky. She turned her head in Vincent's general direction to see if he was sleeping any better than she was, but found he hadn't snuggled into his starchy hotel sheets as she had done.  
  
In fact, he was not even in bed.  
  
Instead, he stood at the side of her bed, staring down at her with an unreadable expression in his crimson eyes. She blinked up at him in surprise. "Vincent?" Her voice came out in a squeak. At the sound of his name, his lips parted slightly and let out a small, almost inaudible sound. Though it was difficult to hear, Yuffie could swear it sounded almost like a moan.  
  
No, that was impossible. Vincent had always seemed so disciplined and proper that she had trouble thinking about him being anything else. Her eyes glanced down...and instantly widened in shock. His tangled mass of ebony hair hung wildly on lean, yet surprisingly muscular shoulders. Shoulders uncovered by the absence of the shirt he'd been wearing earlier that day.  
  
His lean, yet muscular body seemed to have been sculpted from the finest marble by the gods themselves-surely no mortal artist could have ever come close to creating the perfection she saw standing before her. A glint of tarnished gold caught her eye, reminding her that Vincent was all too real to be a statue of perfection, but she could think of no one else who even came as remotely close as he.  
  
Her eyes skimmed downward, over the finely chiseled muscles in his abdomen, and into the shallow dip of his navel, taking in all the details of his upper body. When her eyes wandered downward, she found his bedsheets wrapped haphazardly around his waist, dipping downward in the front just enough to reveal a patch of black-  
  
She snapped her eyes back up to his in an instant, cheeks red with embarrassment. How dare she gawk at him like that! She had no right! And yet, she heard no objections from him while she stared at him in his state of dress. Or rather, undress. It was as if he'd been enjoying it-watching her eyes roam all over his body-even welcoming it. He smiled devilishly.  
  
Dozens of questions popped into her head. Questions such as: 'What is he doing?', 'Why is he staring at me?', and 'Why is he naked?'. Her eyes locked on his, all the questions rushing through her head. She cleared her throat, ready to make her inquiry. And then, it came out:  
  
"Vinnie, are you drunk?"  
  
Okay, so that wasn't the question she wanted to ask right then, but she couldn't take it back. Her innocent question earned a soft chuckle from the dark man, and a shake of his head. /Of course he isn't drunk,/ She thought, detecting no trace of alcohol, /this is Vincent, for crying out loud!/ The somber man that held the weight of someone else's sins on his shoulders would not let himself get drunk.  
  
Or would he? She was starting to have an effect on him, bringing light into his world of darkness, little by little. Perhaps her effect on him had lightened his mood to the point of casually enjoying himself as other men would have. But if he wasn't drunk, then why was he acting so unlike himself?  
  
And what was that look in his eyes? The look he directed at her made shivers run down her spine. The shivers weren't from disgust, far from it actually, and her mind completely forgot the air conditioner only a few feet away from her. Some emotion she had never seen directed at her before was done so now, through half closed, sleepy looking, crimson eyes. Something flickered in his eyes, promising he would do more than just stand still and let her stare at him.  
  
Desire?  
  
It couldn't be. No one was supposed to be attracted to the 'brat', the 'pest', the thief of the group. It was just a joke. A joke played on her for grabbing his butt earlier. He couldn't be standing there, naked except for a thin sheet wrapped around his waist, and looking as if he were going to undress her with his teeth. No, she was just imagining it all.  
  
He closed the distance between them in two silent strides and before Yuffie knew it, she was on her back with eyes wide in shock, staring up at Vincent's lithe body covering her own. He had somehow managed to position himself between her legs before she could even think about what he was doing.  
  
But she sure as hell could think now. And most of those thoughts contained vivid obscenities.  
  
Fear shot through her, alongside utter confusion as she pressed her hands against his chest, pushing with all her might. She might as well have tried to push the Da Chao mountain over with her bare hands. "What the hell are you doing Vinnie?!" The young ninja demanded of her dark companion.  
  
Her dark companion, however, was sliding away the sheet that covered her. Sensing that trying to push him off was no good, she wrapped her arms tightly around herself. "Vincent Valentine!" She raised her voice into what she thought to be a commanding tone, "Stop! Stop!! Knock it off, dammit!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!"  
  
A second after she said that, he was pulling her oversized nightshirt over her head and off her body. Just as she was about to yell at him again, he covered her mouth with his in a soft kiss. Her mind went blank. Vincent was kissing her. Her mind flashed back to when she was a child. A little seven-year-old Yuffie was playing in front of her family's house, when an eight-year-old boy had come up and kissed her cheek.  
  
And she had popped him in the stomach for it. She could still remember her father laughing as he watched. It was the last time anyone tried to kiss her.  
  
But Vincent's kiss was like nothing she had ever experienced before. She practically melted beneath him. The only thing she could register was that she was surely in heaven. This was even better than 'collecting' materia.  
  
When he broke the kiss and moved to her neck, she felt the contrast of his hot breath over her cool skin. As he kissed her neck, his right hand trailed down her left side, sending little goosebumps after his touch. Wordlessly, Vincent raised her hands over her head, grasping both of her small wrists in his claw. He was so gentle, Yuffie observed, for the monster he claimed to be.  
  
She felt a sudden stinging sensation in her neck, small, but sharp.  
  
He'd bitten her.  
  
Vincent had actually bitten her neck. /What the hell?!/ Yuffie's mind demanded in confusion. Then she felt his warm, wet tongue on her neck, licking at something that itched. Her eyes widened in fear as she suddenly knew what he was doing.  
  
He was drinking her blood.  
  
Vincent was drinking her blood!  
  
Since Vincent had joined Avalanche, he'd always said that he was a monster. Though he could turn into them, Yuffie never believed that his human form could be one too. She opened her mouth, trying to tell him to stop, but nothing came out. She squirmed in his grasp, but his claw held her indefinitely.  
  
Still, he quested her small body, as if she were his to play with as he desired. The fingers of his human hand tangled themselves in her panties and with a quick motion, he tore them off. Panic coursed through her veins and she struggled, kicking out. Her legs did no damage, and her body felt suddenly heavy, her energy drained from her. The strength left her arms and legs, her limbs going limp beneath Vincent.  
  
Satisfied, her companion drew back and stared fondly down at the young woman beneath him. Her cheeks were flushed and she lacked the strength to fight back. His crimson eyes glowed with an unholy light and, she noticed, were demonically slitted. He grinned, revealing sharp, bloodstained fangs. Her blood ran cold.  
  
"Ah, dearest Yuffie," Vincent purred, voice smooth and silky, "you're positively delicious."  
  
He pulled the sheets from around his waist and tossed them to the floor, his gaze turning hungry for more than her blood. Now he'd have her body as well. Yuffie looked down, and though there wasn't much light, she saw a long, large dark shape. And it was increasing in size. A horrible thought was born in her mind.  
  
/I can't believe it. He's going to rape me.../  
  
Summoning what little strength she had left, she raised her arms in defense. Or tried to. Something held her arms down and her legs open. She turned her head to look at her bindings.  
  
/Snakes!/ Her mind screamed.  
  
How had snakes gotten into the room?!  
  
But she had no time to think about the snakes. She had a more important, very real threat, to deal with. She struggled, but to no avail. She was a prisoner. She was Vincent's prisoner. The thought both thrilled and terrified her.  
  
And then, she felt an awful, tearing pain between her legs. Pain so terrible, she found her voice and screamed. She could hear him laughing and he held up his human hand, covered in her blood. He held down her small, struggling form, laughing all the while. His laugh was wicked, sinister, and as it went on, it became inhuman.  
  
His skin faded to a deep purple, his hand and claw warped into beastial limbs, and his fangs grew sharper. She could hear his bones grind and shift as he became larger, heard the demon wings sprout from his back as the tips punctured the skin, freeing the wings. And she closed her eyes tightly, afraid for her life.  
  
Slowly, so slowly, she opened her eyes.  
  
Chaos.  
  
There he was, in Vincent's place, crouched over her, inside her. Yuffie felt sick. Sick with terror, sick with disgust...just plain sick. And she knew, when she looked up into the enormous demon's face, that she was going to die. He was going to kill her with that...that thing!  
  
The sound of her hips breaking apart reached her ears and the intense pain assaulted her nerves. Try as she might, she couldn't get Chaos off her. And even if she did, she couldn't run. Her strength failed. The horrible pain took over. And she screamed one last time...  
  
And woke up in a cold sweat.  
  
Her legs were tangled in the bedsheets knotted around her legs, the sheets that were now soaked with sweat. A nightmare, that was what it was. A horrible, terrifying nightmare. She was still in her nightshirt and, flipping it up for a second, she noted her underwear still covering her. Still in one piece.  
  
She looked over at Vincent's bed. He still lay in it, comfortably asleep. The shirt and pants he'd slept in were still covering him. And he had no wings. Yuffie felt relief wash over her and went to go get an early shower.  
  
**********  
  
"Is everything all right Yuffie?"  
  
"Hmm?" Yuffie snapped out of her morbid thoughts about her nightmare. Images of flying penises with teeth and batwings had filled her head. "Huh? Oh, yeah, everything's fine." She said with a cheesy grin as one of the imaginary flying penises started spitting acid.  
  
"Are you sure?" Vincent asked, voice filled with concern, "You look a little pale." She nodded. "I'm fine, Vinnie." Then she was quiet again. /Something's definitely wrong here./ Vincent thought to himself, /She's acting strange./ Before he had the chance to pry, the young ninja stopped.  
  
"Vinnie?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
A little hesitation, then, "Can you detatch it?"  
  
He looked at her, confused. "Can I detatch what?" He asked. Her cheeks reddened and she stuttered, "Er, uh, well...your thingamabob? Can you detatch it and make it fly around?" It was becoming increasingly hard to keep eye contact with him.  
  
Poor Vincent, having no earthly idea what she was talking about, stared at her blankly. She resisted the urge to scream. Of course he didn't know what she meant, she hadn't told him about her nightmare...and she didn't mean to anytime soon. She tried her hand at patience. "You know...your thiiiiiiiing." She stretched out the last word so he could get what she was hinting at.  
  
Apparently, Vincent was no good with slang. Yuffie looked around and, spotting no one, made a hand gesture. Vincent got that real quick. His eyes grew wide and he turned a sickly shade of green at the thought of yanking it off and making it fly. He covered his mouth and violently shook his head 'no'.  
  
"Oh, okay." Yuffie said, the batwings disappeared from the penises and they remained in one place. However, they still had teeth and could spit acid. And now they were growling. /If I'd listened to that stupid 'Birds and Bees' talk, I wouldn't be having this problem./ She thought to herself. She never wanted to hear it when she was growing up, and eventually, her father quit trying to tell her. Maybe she should've listened...  
  
Nah.  
  
Eventually, Cid and Shera's house came into view. "Hey Vinnie?" Yuffie asked, pushing away thoughts of evil genitalia and focusing on a new topic. Well, maybe not so new...  
  
"Yes Yuffie?"  
  
"Um...we aren't going to be walking in on them, are we?" She asked, recalling the idea of seeing Cid's 'old fart' winky. The idea of a shriveled, limp, penis with liver spots crept into her head again. Yuffie shuddered. "I hope not." Vincent muttered, almost inaudibly. Not hearing him clearly, Yuffie asked, "What?"  
  
"I don't think we will." The gunman said quickly. "Good! I'd probably die if I saw it." Relief filled the young ninja's voice, "Then people would call it the Mega Boner of Doom!" Vincent chuckled quietly at that, but she wasn't laughing with him over her joke. Images of her hips breaking apart from Chaos' death dick flashed into her mind. Now THAT was a Mega Boner of Doom. It would've been funny if it hadn't scared her so badly.  
  
They reached the door of the pilot's house and, hearing no obnoxiously hormonal noises, they knocked. A few moments later, the door flew open revealing Cid. His hair was slightly messy and it looked as if he'd threw on his clothes in a hurry. He blinked in surprise a few times, then grinned. "Hey! How the hell ya doin'?!" The pilot asked in his usual gruff manner.  
  
"Penis."  
  
"What?!" Cid nearly had a heart attack. Yuffie's eyes widened in horror as the word slipped from her mouth. She hadn't meant to say that, hadn't meant to give Cid a conniption fit. Though it was pretty funny to watch him freak out, she figured she'd better calm him down before he started foaming at the mouth. Froth started bubbling from between his lips. Too late.  
  
**********  
  
Author's Note: That's it for now. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. *chuckle* Poor Cid. Stay tuned - the humor, perversion, and plot get even more twisted as the story continues. See you next chapter. 


	7. Hot Ice

Author's Note: I hope you all liked chapter six, I certainly enjoyed writing it. Please keep reviewing too, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It also gives me bursts of inspiration, so reviews are very much appreciated. I changed memories to these: *...* Now, on with the story!  
  
Hot Ice  
  
"Vinnie?"  
  
"Yes Yuffie?"  
  
"Do you think Cid will be okay?" The young ninja asked, remembering their visit yesterday. No matter what the pilot had said, Yuffie had responded with the worst choice of words ever.  
  
"I imagine he'll be fine." Vincent said as they trekked through the Nibel mountains. He'd been quiet since they'd left Cid's house, apologizing to the poor man and his assistant. The two members of Avalanche decided to head straight to Nibelheim after the visit. They'd been attacked a few times, but nothing serious. Heck, nothing seemed threatening after Avalanche had defeated Sephiroth.  
  
"Vinnie?"  
  
"Yes Yuffie?"  
  
"Are you mad at me?"  
  
He stopped walking and looked down at her, his crimson gaze sweeping over her. "No." Vincent said simply. His companion looked up at him with guilty eyes and a protruding lower lip. "Are you sure you're not mad?" She pouted the question, "You haven't said much since we high-tailed it out of Cid's place."  
  
That much was true. He hadn't spoken to her unless she'd started a conversation and even then it was strained. It wasn't as if he was angry with her, far from it actually, but because he had been left speechless yesterday. The memory was still fresh in his mind.....  
  
* "Penis."  
  
Froth bubbled up from Cid's mouth and the hysterical excitement of the conniption fit took hold. "Cid?! Cid! Are you all right?! Speak to me!" Vincent shouted, grasping the pilot's shoulders and trying to shake him out of it. After a few more moments of hysteria, Cid calmed down enough to stand on his own. Then, all hell broke loose.  
  
"What the hell have you two been doing these past few days?!" The old pilot exploded, "Have you two been doing what I think you've been doing?!" The question was plain, but Vincent knew exactly what Cid meant. "Calm down Cid, it's not what you're thinking." He'd said, trying to calm his friend. After a while, it seemed to be working and he'd grasped onto a handle of control. Cid looked at him with a questioning look in his eyes. "Oh yeah? Well what HAVE you been doing?"  
  
"Um, you know." Yuffie tried cheerfully, "Just grabbing each other's butts and sleeping together."  
  
"WHAT?!" Cid flew off the handle in the blink of an eye. Numerous strands of hair stuck out and he turned an odd shade of greenish white. His eyes widened as he whipped around to see Yuffie. He looked as if he were about to scold her for cavorting around with an older man. In her panic, she tried to defend herself. "He grabbed me first!!" She defended and pointed an accusing finger at Vincent.  
  
The following conversation between the two men didn't go very well.  
  
Vincent, who had been about to try to calm Cid down again, was now face to face with an angry looking Cid. "You oughta be ashamed of yourself Vince!" The pilot exploded, "You're a full grown man! You're supposed to be the responsible adult! She's only a kid and you-!"  
  
"Cid! Calm down!"  
  
"-stuffed her like a damn turkey! Of all the-"  
  
"You're wrong!"  
  
"-people in the whole f*cking world-"  
  
"I didn't!"  
  
"-I never thought that YOU would-"  
  
"Cid!"  
  
"-force yourself on poor, defenseless Yuffie!"  
  
"I am NOT defenseless!!" Yuffie interjected, but Cid continued. "I oughta kick your ass!" He growled, but Shera tugged on his arm and said in a low, calm voice, "Cid Highwind, you behave yourself RIGHT NOW or you won't get any loving for three years." Whatever he was about to say, was cut off as he snapped his mouth shut instantly. "Now," Shera began in her normal, sweet tone, "why don't we clear up this little misunderstanding, hmm?"  
  
"We shared a room, not a bed, and that is all." Vincent said flatly. "Oh yeah?! Then what's this ASS grabbing all about?!" Cid demanded. "We were coming to visit you last night, but I...overheard a few noises." Vincent began, noting the embarrassed looks on his friends' faces, "I decided against the visit to give you your privacy, but Yuffie wanted to drop in. So I put her over my shoulder and carried her to the inn. Climbing the stairs on our way to the room, I held her in place with my good hand so she wouldn't fall. I had no idea my hand was inappropriately placed until she gracefully pointed it out."  
  
The look Yuffie gave him clearly said /'Yeah RIGHT Vinnie!! You were copping a feel and you KNOW it!!/ He nonchalantly cleared his throat and continued, "She believed I did it on purpose and felt the need to 'get me back' so to speak."  
  
"You should've heard the noise he made!!" Yuffie exclaimed with a giggle. *  
  
Yes, it had been a unique experience to say the least, and Vincent had decided it best if they left town after that little incident. So instead of returning to the inn, the pair left immediately for Nibelheim. They'd been walking all throughout the night and all of today and it seemed to be taking it out of the usually energetic ninja. Worse yet, it had started to snow over an hour ago.  
  
"Are you all right Yuffie?" He asked, turning to look back at her. She was slowly walking with her arms wrapped tightly around herself and was shivering with cold. In the next instant, he took his cloak off and wrapped it around her tiny form. After glancing around for a moment, he spotted a cave opening a few yards away and quickly led her into it.  
  
It wasn't any warmer inside, but the snow and wind couldn't get to them in there. He dropped their bags on the ground and grasped her arms through the crimson fabric, shaking her gently. "Yuffie?" He tried and receiving no answer, tried again. "Yuffie, answer me!" Her teeth chattered almost non- stop and she stuttered in a tiny, shaking voice, "C-c-cold..."  
  
/I need to get a fire going,/ Vincent thought to himself as he set her carefully on the ground, "Yuffie, I'm going to get some wood and start a fire. I'll be back shortly." She barely managed to nod and he quickly went to retrieve some firewood. For a few minutes she lied there, curled into a ball and shivered. The cave walls were starting to blur and grow dark. The snow was starting to melt into her clothes and a tremor rocked through her small frame. /Hurry Vinnie.../  
  
Upon returning to the cave with enough firewood to last the entire night, Vincent spotted the tiny form of the young ninja lying motionless on the floor. Her skin was tinged a pale blue and her lips were a deeper blue. Her legs had uncurled and her body was sprawled on the floor as if she were a rag doll. He abruptly dropped the wood and rushed over to her. "Yuffie!"  
  
He reached down to wake her, then pulled his hand away. She was thoroughly soaked and was breathing in small, short gasps. /I've got to warm her up, now!/ The gunslinger thought and quickly got to work.  
  
* * * *  
  
Soft, so soft. And warm...just like curling up in a comfy sleeping bag. The smell of a campfire nearby. The crackling of wood. All welcome to the senses of the young Wutainese ninja. She snuggled into something warm and soft, her eyes still closed in peaceful slumber. The scent of cologne reached her and brought back memories of a five-year-old Yuffie falling asleep in her father's lap. The memories were so vivid, it felt as if her father was holding her right now. Sleepily, she opened her eyes...  
  
And the first thing she saw was chest. Male chest. NAKED male chest. Now this didn't bother her. What bothered her was the fact that she could feel the naked male chest against her bare skin. And she didn't mean her arms either! Her eyes shot open in an instant. Long strands of ebony hair hung limply on the glorious man-chest and her eyes trailed up to lock on Vincent's sleeping face. He was on his back with Yuffie on top of him! She drew in a long, slow breath and shifted her legs. Bare skin brushed against bare skin. She held her breath in and felt something against her abdomen that she KNEW wasn't hers!  
  
She let out a scream that could wake the dead.  
  
Crimson eyes opened immediately and Vincent's arms locked around her in an instant. "Yuffie, are you all right?" He asked her immediately. She looked at him as if he just asked the most retarded question on the planet. "Am I okay?" Yuffie twitched, "Am I okay?! NO I'm not OKAY!! I'm NAKED!!" She tried her best to cover herself, but Vincent's grip was like a vice. She struggled to get free, but he refused to let go. "Stop struggling." He ordered, "You'll get cold all over again."  
  
She stopped in an instant. He was only warming her up. She started to relax a little, but then another thought came to mind. "How much did you see?" Yuffie questioned, looking at him suspiciously. "I'm the one who undressed you." He answered calmly. "YOU SAW ME NAKED!!" She yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him as he looked at her with a mildly confused look, "Vincent Valentine, I'm gonna kick your ass!!"  
  
* * * *  
  
Author's Note: What's in store for our heroes? Will Yuffie REALLY kick Vincent's ass? Will there be more nudity in upcoming chapters? Find out in the next exciting chapter of Something to believe in!! 


	8. The ride of your life

Author's Note: After staring at my screen while playing Kingdom Hearts, WAY back when it first came out, I realized Yuffie's eyes were purple, not gray. I'll correct my mistakes in this chapter, then go back and correct the other chapters later. Tronbonne, you WILL get a lemon. You'll get several! All in good time...  
  
The ride of your life  
  
"Vincent Valentine!" Yuffie roared, "You let me up this INSTANT so I can whoop your ass!" She struggled to get free from the gunslinger's vice-like hold, but her arms were pinned between their chests and her legs were doing no good at all. She began to thrash around with all her might and sent them rolling around in the mess of their clothing. "Yuffie, stop that." Vincent murmured as they rolled around. The rolling wasn't helping, however, so she switched tactics...  
  
...and started biting. This didn't really bother her dark companion. He just lied there, watching her as curiously as a cat would. Her little bites didn't even seem to hurt. That is, until she bit his nipple. He let out a sharp yelp of pain and abruptly released her, one hand coming up to cover it. He gave her a wild-eyed look and gasped, "I can't believe you did that..."  
  
Yuffie, however, had scampered away from him and stuck out her tongue. "You SO deserved that Vinnie!" She said matter-of-factly and covered herself with her hands. A sharp blast of cold air shot up her spine. She shivered violently and jumped back onto Vincent, quickly covering the both of them back up.  
  
"On second thought, you didn't deserve that. Sorry Vinnie." She whispered with cold and snuggled back into his arms where it was warm and safe. Then, as an afterthought, she gave him a tiny, quick kiss where she bit him and murmured, "Feel better." Before promptly falling back to sleep and leaving her dark companion very confused.  
  
* * * *  
  
They had not stayed long in the town of Nibelheim, just long enough to rent a buggy and start driving past Cosmo Canyon. Yuffie hadn't wanted to go there, as she thought it was too boring. She had also said that it wasn't the place where she meant for them to go. It looked like they'd visit Red XIII some other time. She had Vincent drive past Gongaga as well, muttering something about an awful scent lingering in that town.  
  
And so, Vincent drove on. Not once did he question the ninja's decisions. He sat silently while she turned the radio on to some obnoxious station with an overdose of guitar riffs and shouted lyrics. Heavy metal, he assumed after a few moments. They drove over the river and through the desert, but Vincent knew they weren't going to 'Grandmother's house'. Even as Yuffie fell asleep to the sounds of her own music, he knew exactly where they were going.  
  
The Gold Saucer. The theme park to put an end to all other theme parks. Apparently, since Meteor had destroyed the city of Midgar, and nearly put an end to the world, people had decided to live their lives to the fullest. The Gold Saucer's business had unexpectedly skyrocketed and they too were expanding. New attractions were springing up all over the place, drawing even more people to the park.  
  
Vincent parked the rented buggy just outside of Corel and went over to the passenger side, where Yuffie still slumbered. He unbuckled her and gently pulled her into his arms, carrying her through town and onto the ropeway. Vincent stared down at her as she slept peacefully in his embrace and felt a warm feeling seep into him. He hugged her to himself and the ropeway began to ascend to the theme park.  
  
* * * *  
  
She woke up in a warm, soft bed and yawned. Then she slowly sat up and sleepily rubbed her eyes, her blurry vision returning to normal. Chains were hanging from the ceiling and a few were on the floor. A miniature guillotine sat on the table, accompanied by a skull with a burning candle atop it. A mace sat on the floor between herself and the doorway.  
  
Her eyes darted around the room and, finding herself alone, she ran over to grab the mace. Her small hands closed around the handle and she put all her strength into lifting the deadly object. "1...2...3!!" She heaved the mace up with all her might...  
  
...and immediately fell on her butt. The damn thing was plastic!! /Wait,/ she thought, /Where am I? In the land of freaking BONDAGE?! Did Vinnie bring me here?/ Yuffie gasped in surprise at the thought. Of course he had brought her here, he was the one driving! But the question was, what was he planning on doing?  
  
And just where WAS he anyway? Out getting MORE bondage? Moogle lube maybe? Lingerie? Chocobo body paint? A woman's scream suddenly pierced the silence. Yuffie's eyes shot wide open. /I'm in a SEX MOTEL!!/ Her mind screamed.  
  
"Shame on you, Vincent Valentine," Yuffie whispered to herself with reddened cheeks, "for bringing me to a place like this." Vincent had always seemed so calm and disciplined too. When they had first met, she'd thought he didn't have any emotions left in him except misery. Wrong! He was more perverted than she'd thought!  
  
Just then, her dark companion walked quietly into the room, carrying a bag. He noticed her and gave her a warm smile. But to Yuffie, that smile meant he was thinking of naughty things! That bag probably had a vibrator in it! Her blush would've been noticeable from Sephiroth's crater if the window would've been open. It didn't go unnoticed by Vincent either.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked curiously. "What's in the bag, Vinnie?" She demanded, looking up at him from her spot on the floor. "Groceries." He replied, pulling them out of the bag, "I thought we could have a nice dinner before we got started." /Dinner, then sex?!/ Yuffie couldn't believe her ears, but instead asked, "Got started?"  
  
"Yes, of course. You'll need your energy for tonight." He started putting the perishables away, then pulled out some cookware. /I'll need my energy?!/ She thought to herself. "Erm...exactly what will I need my energy for?" She asked, attempting to sound nonchalant. "Well," He smiled, "for all of the fun you'll be having, of course." Vincent answered matter-of- factly. Her mouth dropped open; her eyes were wide. How the hell would HE know how much fun she'd have?! She was just about to ask him, when he suddenly spoke up.  
  
"I hear they've added new rides and attractions." He murmured, cooking. Yuffie was caught off guard. "Wha-? Rides and attractions? What are you talking about?" She asked, confused. "Well, I figured you wanted to come here to ride the rides or play in the arcade or something." He said, looking at her, "That IS why we came here, isn't it?"  
  
"Where the hell ARE we?" Yuffie asked.  
  
"The Ghost Hotel in the Gold Saucer, of course." Vincent replied, "Where did you think we were?"  
  
"Uh, I dunno. What's for dinner? That smells great!" Yuffie asked quickly changing the subject and deeply breathing in the wonderful aroma of the hot meal Vincent was preparing. Chicken sizzled in one pan, while pasta in a cheesy alfredo sauce simmered on the back burner. Mixed vegetables were steaming in a medium sized pot and everything looked delicious. "Wow..." The young ninja murmured. Once the chicken was done, Vincent sliced it into pieces and combined it with the pasta alfredo, "Dinner's ready." He quietly said.  
  
*  
  
"Oh...my...GAWD!! That was the best dinner I've ever had!" Yuffie exclaimed with a hand on her belly. A satisfied sigh escaped her lips and she smiled at Vincent. "From now on, you're doing ALL the cooking Vinnie!" She said, pointing at him. "Um...very well." He replied, putting the dishes away, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."  
  
"Hey Vinnie, forget those dishes for now, let's go have some fun!" Yuffie said, getting up from her spot at the table and going over to pull him away from the sink. "I should do these dishes before we go anywhere." He argued, but his young companion was pulling him away by the shirt. "Come on Vinnie, let's go have some fun!" She grinned devilishly.  
  
*  
  
"Yuffie, I don't think this is such a good idea."  
  
"Oh come on Vinnie! Lighten up!"  
  
"But Yuffie, there's so many people around."  
  
"So? Who cares?"  
  
"But what if, you know..."  
  
"Come on Vinnie, I wanna DO it!" She pressed.  
  
"Are you sure about this? You really want to?"  
  
"Yes. It's my first time."  
  
"And you want it to be with me?" He asked in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah..." She blushed. "I want my first time to be special." Vincent swallowed hard. Never in a million years would he have expected her to come forth and ask him for something like this. Especially not with her deep purple eyes sparkling in the gleam of the theme park's lights, questioning and filled with hope. He took a deep breath in, and then breathed it out slowly. "All right Yuffie," The dark gunslinger murmured, "...we'll go on the roller coaster."  
  
"YAY!!" Yuffie squealed, jumping up and down in circles around Vincent. He put his gloved hand to his head and wondered to himself if he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. He should have said no. That would've been what any sane person might do, given the present situation. After all, the combination of a roller coaster and Yuffie could only be described as a disaster. He sighed. How could he deny her anything when she looked at him with those innocent purple eyes and that slightly pouty lower lip? Unbeknownst to her, she could ask him for anything. And if she asked while making that face, he'd damn well give it to her.  
  
They took their seats on the coaster and the protective bar came down over them. The announcer sounded jumbled over the loudspeaker and suddenly Vincent realized that he'd never before ridden one of these hell contraptions either. The cars jolted and rushed out to start climbing on a metal track high into the air and he heard Yuffie ask, "Isn't this great Vinnie? You can see the whole park!"  
  
A few seconds passed, then he heard her say, "Oh gawd...you can see the whole park..." He looked over to see his companion trembling. "Yuffie?" He asked gently. She was clinging to the protective bar so hard, her knuckles were white. "Vinnie?" Her voice came out shakily, "I'm scared."  
  
Suddenly, they plummeted down towards the earth below. A multitude of terrified screams assaulted his ears as the cars plunged down, then suddenly took a vicious turn to the right. They rocketed through twists, turns and loops, plunged into the darkness of a tunnel and through it all, Yuffie hadn't screamed. Her face was pale, her soft lips were pressed together, and he could swear he faintly heard her heart pounding.  
  
And all of a sudden, he understood why...  
  
* * * *  
  
Hell on wheels, Vincent decided, and he damn well didn't want to do it again. Yuffie moaned pitifully as he carried her to a bench. Her motion sickness had resulted in more than half of the passengers behind them being covered in vomit. "Dinner tasted better the first time..." She murmured, "...when it went down instead of up."  
  
"I'm guessing you won't want to stay here much longer." Vincent remarked, stroking her tangled hair as she cuddled up next to him on the bench. "Yeah, can we leave tomorrow morning?" Yuffie asked, looking up at him. He smiled down at her. "Of course." She smiled back up at him, a mischievous look coming across her face. "Just you wait until tomorrow, Vinnie!" She smiled, "We're gonna have lotsa fun!!  
  
* * * *  
  
Author's Note: I had a hell of a time writing this one, but it was fun. I went to Katsucon ten February 13th-15th and had a blast. It was my first anime convention. I was waiting for my friends to get out of a cosplay and happened to look to my left. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw Vincent Valentine standing less than a foot away from me! It looked as if he literally walked right out of the game and into real life! I kid you not! I got his picture, got my picture taken with him and got a hug from him! In a week or so, I'll put one of the pics on a site I share with my friends and put the link in my user lookup. Hope you liked this chapter. I can't wait to crank out the next! 


	9. The handkerchief

Author's Note: Now I want all of you loyal readers to REALLY use your imaginations while reading this chapter!  
  
The handkerchief  
  
"I can't believe this." Vincent Valentine muttered to himself as he overlooked the market place of Costa del Sol. The sun beat down on his dark clothed form; it's rays slowly heating his body. Yuffie bounded up to him, a cheery bundle of energy. "C'mon Vinnie!" She said, excitement clearly present in her voice as she bounced-yes, bounced!-around her dark companion, "We have to get swimsuits!"  
  
"Please tell me you don't plan on making me wear some ridiculous piece of swim-wear. I still haven't forgotten about our little escapade in Wutai." Vincent murmured, remembering the flowing red dress she clothed him in. "Oh don't worry Vinnie, I won't make you wear anything girly." She giggled, "You look like you're roasting. Why don't you go get us a room at the inn and I'll go pick out the suits?"  
  
He stared at her long and hard. Finally, he questioned, "Can I trust you not to pick out something truly horrendous?" She nodded. "I'll pick out something that'll look really good on you, I promise!" She told him with a smile. "Must I go to the beach?" He asked his younger companion. "Yes." She said flatly, "Now shoo. Go get us a room. I'll come and get you when it's time to go."  
  
"Okay Vinnie, I'm back!" Yuffie exclaimed about half an hour later. In her hands were two bags, one for her, the other for Vincent. She handed him the bag. "Okay Vinnie, I'll change in the bathroom first. You can go after me." She bounded in and shut the door, locking it behind her. A girl had to have her privacy! She stripped off her clothes and tossed them on the floor. "Whew! It's so good to be out of those clothes!" She said to herself, unaware that Vincent could probably hear her every word.  
  
She stood there for a moment and carefully studied herself in the mirror. She turned to the left, then to the right, then back to the middle. Very quietly, she raised to her toes and gave a little bounce. Her chest followed suit. "Hmm...I'm growing." She murmured, "I might even be as big as Tifa someday." An image of herself with enormous boobs popped into her mind. It bounded around for awhile, then promptly fell over as a result of being too top-heavy. She giggled at the silly image and dug into her bag, pulling out her soft, green suit. "I hope Vinnie likes my new bathing suit!"  
  
She pulled it on quickly and threw a towel around herself. No sense in spoiling the surprise. With that she darted out of the bathroom and announced that it was his turn to change. He went in quietly and shut the door behind him. After a few moments, Yuffie decided that she was in a playful mood and began to plot something sinister. A mischievous smile slowly crept across her face as she waited for Vincent to show her how he looked.  
  
A moment later, the door opened a crack and Vincent peeked out from behind it. "Come on out Vinnie!" Yuffie called to him. "Must I?" He asked from behind the door. "Yeah! Get your ass out here so I can see how you look in your new swimsuit!" She called, her anticipation rising. She was so proud of herself for picking out their suits. Of course it would look great on him, Yuffie was never wrong in the clothing area. Vincent stepped out of the bathroom and Yuffie's jaw dropped open. In short, he was drop dead gorgeous. But she couldn't let that distract her!  
  
In a flash, Yuffie darted past him, snatched his clothes and ran off like a bat out of hell. "Yuffie, come back here!" Vincent shouted, chasing after her down the stairs and out of the inn. When he finally found her on the beach, she was lounging in her towel, but his clothes were nowhere in sight. "Yuffie," He began firmly, "I demand that you surrender my clothing to me right now so I can get out of this...this handkerchief!"[1]  
  
"Aww, how cute, you like it!" Yuffie cooed, eyeing the soft black bit of fabric that could only be described as...well...a handkerchief. It just barely covered what it was supposed to cover. "Yuffie, did you realize how little fabric there was when you bought this? I'm almost completely naked!" He whispered at her. She grinned up at him. "Duh, Vinnie! People aren't supposed to wear a lot of clothing at the beach. Now come sit by me and I'll give your clothes back later. Vincent was quiet for awhile, then murmured, "I can't."  
  
Yuffie rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Why not?"  
  
"I think it'll fly off if I try to sit down."  
  
Now that was something she wouldn't mind seeing! "All right, why not try holding onto it while you sit?" She suggested, her cheeks a little pink. Vincent sighed and put his hand over himself as he set his claw on the sand, slowly easing himself into a sitting position next to the young ninja. He thanked whatever gods he still believed in that his suit wasn't launched into the ocean.  
  
Just then, the young ninja remembered something. Something important. She hadn't shown Vincent her bathing suit yet! Suddenly Yuffie sprang up from her spot next to Vincent and walked in front of him. "Hey Vinnie, did you want to see my suit?" She asked innocently. /It's probably a one-piece with materia sewn into it./ The gunslinger thought to himself and nodded. "Okay," the ninja grinned, "I think you'll like it!" And with that, she whipped off her towel to reveal a swimsuit with fabric covering only the bare essentials that was held together by incredibly thin straps.  
  
Each one learned something right then.  
  
Yuffie learned what happens when you show a man how you look almost naked...  
  
...and Vincent learned that his "handkerchief" didn't stretch.  
  
They sat in silence in their room, dressed and each blushing furiously in embarrassment. He scolded himself silently. What a reaction! There were several scantily clad women on the beach, which he knew was normal, so why should he have such a reaction to Yuffie and her bathing suit's surprising LACK of fabric?  
  
He glanced over at her, catching her looking at him. Her face turned red all over again and she quickly looked away. Her eyes had gotten bigger than he'd ever seen them before when it had happened. But she had KEPT staring... Vincent's mind groaned at the memory. Maybe they could pretend that it never happened. Or never speak of it again...especially to other members of Avalanche.  
  
If Cloud ever found out that a man of Vincent's age and wisdom had been, well...aroused by a teenager like Yuffie...  
  
Vincent sighed. An image of Cloud letting Yuffie's father know of Vincent's reaction popped into his head. Godo would do everything in his power to protect his little girl from a man who was far too old for her. The little image of Godo tied Vincent to a tree and brandished a sword at the dark man's crotch. He shivered at the gruesome image and crossed his legs.  
  
Yuffie quietly looked over at her companion and noticed him sitting with his legs crossed. She decided to break the silence. Maybe she could make him feel better. "Um...it could have happened to anyone." She said, hoping that would help. He remained silent. She was quite for a minute, then decided to try again. "It's not like you should be ashamed or anything." Vincent stared at the floor, apparently finding it very interesting.  
  
This wasn't working out quite like she had planned. He sighed to himself and Yuffie blurted out, "Well, at least you're healthy!!"  
  
The resulting facial expression was priceless. He whipped around to look at her, one eye slightly larger than the other, and his mouth was open and if he were going to say something in shock. Yuffie clasped her hands over her mouth. She hadn't meant to say that!  
  
There was a long, uncomfortable silence in the room. Slowly, a grin crept across Vincent's face. Then, a low chuckle escaped his lips. Yuffie started to giggle a little when she realized how absurd her comment had sounded. Soon their laughter mixed together and filled their rented room.  
  
Author's Note: No, this isn't the end of the story. Far from it actually. Besides, it couldn't be the end. There isn't any naughtiness yet. This story's rated R for a reason. ANYWAY, get ready for chapter ten!! To all those who have been waiting ever so patiently, this chapter will be naughtier than Yuffie's scary nightmare. Only without the pain, because that's just like...ouch. Stabbity. Get ready for something totally unexpected and well...just downright wrong. By the way, for that Vinnie pic, check my lookup for the link.  
  
[1] Quoted from Fred Perry's Gold Digger series 


	10. Get 'em off me!

Author's note: Quiver with FEAR! Or excited anticipation… Chapter ten is finally here! Get ready for something you don't normally see in Yuffentine fics…

Chapter Ten: Get 'em off me!

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there YET?"

"No."

"How 'bout now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Vin-CENT!" Yuffie moaned irritably, through gritted teeth, "When are we friggin' gonna GET THERE! We've been on this stupid chocobo for hours and there's no dry land in sight! We've been riding all the way from Costa del Sol to…wherever we are right now. Do you even know where we're going, anyway!"

"It appears this chocobo has it's own plans, Yuffie. Once we reach land, we can figure out where we are from there." Vincent murmured from his place behind his companion. She had been mysteriously irritable all morning and most of the afternoon. This confused Vincent beyond anything. He had thought she enjoyed his company since they'd first begun their journey, but it seemed everything he said to her upset her. /_She's just having one of those days, I suppose_./ He mused, absently wrapping his metal arm around her gently.

The silence was soon broken by the young ninja. "Vinnie, my ass hurts!" Yuffie complained, groaning and trying to rub her sore posterior and avoid feeling up Vincent in the process. To their complete misfortune, her hand landed square in his crotch. As a result, Vincent shot right up into a ramrod straight position, setting off a chain of events. His sudden motion knocked Yuffie onto her stomach on the bird; her small hands flying out in front of her to stop her fall. Her hands however, slapped the chocobo upside the head on both sides, scaring the piss out of it and sending it into a panic. The large, feathery creature tore off like a raging hell bird, with it's riders clinging to the reins for dear life.

Yuffie tried to close her eyes to keep her stomach from spilling it's contents from the bumpy, watery ride. The shinobi's field of vision shook worse than an amateur porn video shot during an earthquake. Vincent's arm tightened around her protectively as the world around them seemed to go crazy.

"Stupid BIRD!" A drenched, extremely furious Yuffie screamed as the chocobo disappeared into the horizon. It had bucked it's passengers off it's back and right into the shallow water of the nearest island - bags and all. For all their expert reflexes, the pair went ass over teacups into the briny blue. Although Vincent wasn't at all pleased with this soggy turn of events, he quietly climbed to his feet and began wringing out his ragged cloak. Yuffie on the other hand, sputtered and splashed water everywhere in her waterlogged, unhappy state.

As vivid obsenities and angry death threats emanated from the wet ninja, a sudden scent caught the dark man's attention. Blood. But why? He silently sniffed the air once, twice… and then he knew where it was coming from. "Yuffie," he asked, concerned for his companion's safety, "are you hurt?" If that chocobo had hurt her…

Immediately, her burning fury melted into an expression of surprise followed shortly by a look of horror as she realized something that hadn't yet dawned upon Vincent. Their tumble into the water had let loose the worst feeling a girl could possibly feel. Even worse, it had to happen in the company of Avalanche's sinfully gorgeous man. She watched as realization dawned upon the ex-Turk and he actually looked rather embarrassed. "Erm, I'm sorry Yuffie, I didn't realize it was your time of the mon"

"Vinnie!" Yuffie shrieked, her cheeks as red as his eyes.

"Well, we're on a deserted island somewhere in the ocean with no idea where we are, soaked to the bone, I have my… uh…you know…and the only pads available are the ones I have to make out of leaves! Could it get any WORSE!" Yuffie demanded of the heavens. As if in answer, thunder rumbled deeply and suddenly the sky opened up to pour down heavy sheets of rain. The young ninja stood there with an "it figures" expression on her face for a moment before she and her dark companion began to look for shelter.

Trudging through the mud into the forest on the small island, they finally found a large cave. Glad for a dry place to huddle while waiting out the storm, they quickly made their way inside. Yuffie shivered as the rain made the temperature cool down considerably. She wrapped her skinny arms around herself and huddled close to the cave wall. Vincent took it upon himself to provide warmth for the two of them, as he'd be more comfortable looking for pieces of wood rather than have them strip down and repeat the cave incident. Thankfully, his quick thinking had saved her from hypothermia then. The situation at hand however, would be enough for Yuffie to catch pneumonia and so he began to quickly gather up what wood he could find. Oddly there was a mess of twigs and branches inside the cave…

"This sucks Vinnie! Look, my PHS is totally ruined!" Complained the drenched ninja as she held the phone up to let the water run out of it, "Stupid Barret, why'd didn't he just get us some waterproof phones!" Vincent sighed and didn't bother to reply. He knew better. Once, Cait Sith had teased her during this time of the month and she'd screeched, chased him about the Highwind, and started tearing the stuffing out of his mog with her teeth. Tifa had re-stuffed the moogle and sewn it back up, but Yuffie had scattered most of the stuffing around the plane and had even swallowed a small bit of the white fluff. He'd remember that for the rest of his days.

As the ex-Turk started piling the wood, Yuffie was trying to squeeze the water out of her shirt. The water drizzled from her shirt and splattered the mixture of mud and rocks at her feet, but she didn't seem to care if her feet were splashed or not. Her back was to Vincent as he pulled out a fire materia and began casting fire. She heard the crackle of the dry wood, then suddenly fire erupted behind her and she felt its warmth on her back. /_This is much better_./ Yuffie decided as she unbuckled her arm guard and set it on a nearby rock.

With Vincent behind her, seemingly interested in neatly stacking the scattered branches, she had no qualms about lifting her shirt up almost to the collar to give it another squeeze. A smile lit up her face as the water gushed out of the shirt, making it a bit lighter.

Suddenly, she felt a pair of hands reach around her from behind and cup her breasts, her cheeks instantly went red and her throat felt dry. /_Ooh, shame on you Vincent!_/ Her mind giggled, but instead she said, "Geez Vinnie, I didn't know you liked me THAT much!" He made a surprised sound, but Yuffie knew better. "Oh come on Vinnie! I know you looooove me, otherwise you wouldn't be doing this." She said lightly, though her heart was pounding so loud she could've sworn he heard it.

"Doing what?" She heard him ask, then heard him put another piece of wood on the fire. /_What is it with men and their wood!_/ Yuffie wondered, then it hit her. Vincent was nowhere near her. In fact, he was tending the fire, most likely not facing her. Now that she thought about it, if it were her beloved bringer of death, she would've felt his claw. She looks down at the hands covering her chest. Hands inside red boxing gloves. The hands of a

"GOBLIN!" Yuffie bellowed as it decided at that particular moment to squeeze her boobs and make a squeaky noise. "We hit the jackpot boys!" It exclaimed as the infuriated ninja tried to get the little bastard off of her. In an instant, a fleet of goblins burst from the depths of the dark cave, many of them screaming, "BOOBIES!"

The wave of goblins swarmed the young shinobi, latching onto her arms, legs and hips. One particularly brave goblin was grabbing her butt and cheerfully remarked, "Baby's got back!" She tried in vain to fight off the obnoxious little monsters, swinging at them, biting their hands, and punting them as far as she could. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Vincent pulled the Outsider out of it's holster and began shooting the goblins who were attempting to kill him as the others tried to take his companion, kicking and screaming, away.

Many goblins were easily dispatched, but there seemed to be more and more filling into the cave. He put a bullet into a goblin that was helping to carry Yuffie away, but another quickly took it's place. It seemed they were determined to separate her from him. And Vincent knew why. Yuffie was a lovely young ninja, slim and energetic…and this island, Goblin Island, was infested with male goblins. He could hear said goblins comments on his companion as they fought to steal her away.

"Ooh, fiesty!"

"I like her, she's got spunk!"

"Save the energy babe, you'll need it!"

"Gonna work that booty hard. Ooh, ooh, that be what we'll do!"

"Would ya look at those legs!"

"Once you've had gob, you'll never go back!"

"Vincent!" Yuffie screamed as half the wave of goblins carried her into the darkness of the cave, "Get 'em off me! Help!" But he was preoccupied with the ones keeping him at bay. It wasn't as though he had trouble dispatching them, no that part was easy. It was the sheer number of horny goblins and the powerful urge to reproduce with anything female. And the only thing female on this wretched island was the young shinobi. And her cries were getting farther and farther away.

The thought of Yuffie being raped by goblins and forced to mother the next generation of those filthy creatures struck a nerve within Vincent. An uncontrollable, violent rage burned inside his entire being and grew rapidly until it consumed all rational thought. A dangerous growl rumbled in his throat and his lips drew back in a snarl. These monsters were going to pay for taking his comrade away from him…they'd pay with their lives.

The dark gunman suddenly lurched forward with a wide, sadistic grin plastered on his face. All assault on him screeched to a halt as his attackers took notice. He began laughing at them, the harsh, shrill laugh of a psychotic madman that would send chills down anyone's spine. Slouching over, his body began to shift. Popping noises as his spine elongated by a few inches and made him slouch over. The muscles in his arms flexed as he twisted and shifted as became a terrifying monster. A monster capable moaning and groaning behind the mask that covered his face. And a monster wielding a chainsaw, the metal gleaming in the moonlight.

Hellmasker.

Author's note: Hellmasker. Yeah, you heard me. Usually you see Chaos, and sometimes you see the Galian Beast. I noticed Death Gigas and Hellmasker are rarely ever used in fanfics. Well this situation called for Hellmasker. Originally, I hadn't planned on this chapter to go this way, but it just kind of came out. Sorry for the long wait. There's a reason for my madness, though to tell you would spoil the surprise. I'll just say that it's for all my readers. Anyway, now that I've got you wondering…


	11. Return of the rag

Author's Note: To anyone who's wondering about the surprise I mentioned last chapter, let me give you a hint. It's not part of the story, but it has something to do with it. Heh heh, but it'll take a while...(damn computer!) It's a present from me to my readers. Anyway, on with the story.

Warning: Gore, nudity, and a terrible act against Yuffie. Just read, you'll like it.

Chapter 11: Return of the rag (Yuffie, please hold my nuts)

"Hey, let me go! Vincent! VINCENT!" Yuffie screamed into the darkness of the cave, hoping her dark companion could hear her. She was currently being dragged to…she didn't know where. A sneaker clad foot kicked forward, nailing a goblin in the head and she was rewarded with about two seconds of foot freedom before he grabbed back on. She thrashed about, throwing punches and kicks, delivering the best beating she could while being carried away. At each opportunity, she bit as well.

Her efforts were in vain however, as more goblins would just immediately replace any she killed whether armed or not. /_Dammit all!_/ The young shinobi fumed. This was NOT something she planned on. And just how the hell had it happened anyway! All she'd wanted to do was go and visit Cloud and Tifa at their villa in Costa del Sol. Although Vincent had been wary of the visit, he had complied. She remembered it like it was yesterday. Funny, because it WAS yesterday.

_"Hey Tifa, you're looking as hooterrific as ever!"_

_"Yuffie! It's so good to see you again! And I am NOT 'hooterrific'!" The older woman said, giving the ninja a hug. Cloud snickered, but wisely covered it up with a cough. Her dark companion just looked amused. "So how have you been, Yuffie?" The older woman asked. A great big grin broke out across Yuffie's face and she began... "Oh my gawd Tifa, we did so much stuff! Like sneaking into Wutai in disguise so we wouldn't have to see my dad..."_

_As Yuffie shared all the details of their trip, Cloud and Tifa listened intently. They burst into laughter when she told them about the deal with Cid, his obviously shriveled "man meat", and his foaming at the mouth. Then she told them about what fun they had at the Gold Saucer, leaving out the part where she thought her Vinnie-poo had taken her to a sex motel. She also told them that he had prevented her from 'a bone chilling experience', but neglected to explain how he had stripped her bare and removed his own clothes to wrap the garments around themselves to keep from freezing to death. And she didn't tell any of them how she had cuddled up to him as they shared their body heat. Or how she loved the feel of riding on Vincent's lap when they rode chocobos. Vincent had seemed lost in thought for a while, but right when she was about to get to the good part, with the bathing suits, he'd politely excused the two of them._

_He had muttered something about treating her to ice cream and Yuffie had jumped at hearing that. Imagine, Vincent Valentine treating her to ice cream! A change this drastic wasn't something the ninja had expected. Not this soon anyway. She'd gone with him in a heartbeat, quickly shouting to Tifa, "We'll be right back!" The next thing she knew, she was on a chocobo with Vincent and racing away from Costa del Sol. And all she could think was 'what about my ice cream!'_

And now she had her period, was cold, wet, stranded, AND was being carried away by a bunch of horny goblins. Well, this HAD to be the worst day of her life! The constant fight she was putting up was finally staring to take it's toll on her. Fatigue made her limbs feel heavier, her motions slowed and became sluggish. /_Hurry Vincent. Don't let them have me!_/ Her mind screamed.

- -

Blood splattered all over the cave walls and a sharp peal of insane laughter echoed throughout the tunnel. Hellmasker's burning stare was clearly visible and he rammed his chainsaw into a group of goblins. Heads disconnected from spines flew in multiple directions, ricocheting around the small space. The overpowering stench of fear and death filled the air. He didn't care. Heavy footsteps thundered down the tunnel in the direction the goblins had taken Yuffie. He tore off as fast as he could, slicing down opponents left and right. Their horrified screams didn't seem to reach him. All he could think of was the ninja, HIS ninja! His only rational thought was of rescuing her, and he clung to it, even as Hellmasker joyfully butchered everything in it's way.

The tunnel suddenly opened up into an enormous cave littered with small huts. Silence reigned here. Not a single goblin stirred, and Hellmasker was dissappointed. Each and every one of the small huts looked as if they'd been abandoned recently. A glint of light caught the psychopath's eye, and he took off towards it.

Soon, he came upon a larger hut, one filled with the remaining goblins and - he could just see - his Yuffie. She'd done her best, tried her hardest to free herself from the mass, but she'd only postponed the inevitable. Several small hands were now tearing away her clothing. Her arm guard had been left behind in the cave entrance and was probably lost in the earlier battle, her shoes torn, leg gear missing and hair dissheveled. Her green sweater shirt had been torn open in the front, exposing her small, apple sized breasts secured in a white bra with a little ribbon in the center. Her tattered shorts were around her ankles, the goblins hurriedly trying to pull them off of her. She still fought them, determined not to let them get any farther. Her body was soaked with rain and sweat, her skin glistened in the light of the torches. Her chest heaved as she took her ragged breaths, unwilling to give up.

She looked beautiful.

But this was not the time to be turned on and admire her beauty, this was the time for VENGANCE!

- -

Her body felt as if it were about to collapse in the arms of...Leviathan only knew how many goblins, when she heard a terrifying, inhuman noise. /_What the fu - _/ She thought, and then she heard the roar of a chainsaw. That's when she knew. He had come to save her in the nick of time! "Vinnie! Yuffie exclaimed joyously. But it wasn't her beloved Vinnie. Instead, it was the vicious, chainsaw bearing maniac Hellmasker.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Said maniac had just annihilated the three goblins on her immediate left, effectively covering the young ninja in goblin entrails. She shrieked and flung the organs into the face of another goblin, who had been trying to flee from this new threat. He too was cut down. Hellmasker whirled his chainsaw all around himself, the live blade embedded itself temporarily into countless bodies. It was like a terrifying dance that sent guts and gore flying about and blood raining down upon them. The young shinobi narrowly dodged and avoided the dangerous weapon as it came close to her in an attempt to utterly destroy her captors.

The next half hour or so seemed like a giant blur of slick, slippery blood, the roar of the chainsaw, and the screams of goblins. Most of them were instantly cut down, but some were turned into tiny, sleeping, silenced, poisoned frogs...then killed. At some point, her bra was ripped from her chest during the battle. Her face burned with humiliation and shame, but the sight of her bared goods distracted some of the goblins long enough for her to destroy them. When the blood bath finally ended, the hut was littered with body parts and everything inside was demolished. Yuffie sank to her knees, then sat down heavily. She was exhausted after that fight. It had taken longer than the fight against Jenova Death. Her chest heaved with each breath she took and she dragged a messy hand through her equally messy hair. /_Gawd, I look like shit._/ She thought to herself.

Apparently, Hellmasker didn't think so. The monster had lumbered up behind her and was now joyfully humping her shoulders and back with the happiest expression she'd ever seen on his face. Eyes wide open in shock, she sat there with her mouth slightly agape for a good two minutes before her brain started functioning again. She let out a blood curdling scream loud enough to wake everything in the lifestream...

- -

"You can't be serious." Vincent sounded apalled.

"You're damn right I'm serious! You started humping me back there!" His companion shook an accusing finger at him. She was on one of her little rants again. Apparently, when Vincent had gone numb during the battle, his limit break decided to join it's crotch with the area between Yuffie's shoulder blades. He groaned and dragged his human hand through his tangled black hair. Things weren't going so well for them right now. Perhaps it _would_ have been better to stay in Costa del Sol and let her tell Cloud and Tifa that he'd been incredibly aroused by her, so much so his erection had snapped his pathetic excuse for a bathing suit and sent it flying into the ocean. _That_ would've gone over like a fart in church. Cloud would've been all over him for that.

It would've been unnecessary, as Vincent knew for a fact that Yuffie was too young and innocent to be involved in the kind of relationship Vincent's loins would crave. IF he still had feelings like that, which apparently, he did. He'd originally thought he would never experience that sensation after Lucrecia, never thought those feelings could ever resurface. And Yuffie had reawakened them. But he couldn't taint her innocence. He didn't need to be reminded that she was only sixteen years old. Actually, she'd be seventeen in a few weeks...

No! He had to stop thinking like this. He was starting to drive himself crazy.

Thankfully, Yuffie had been so busy describing this whole mess and how it could've been avoided if he'd just gotten her the damn ice cream that she hadn't noticed how he had cursed his actions. Eventually, she trailed off and fell silent. She had wrapped his cape around herself before they'd left the cave and now they were walking around outside. It had stopped raining about fifteen minutes ago, so they left the cave, thankful to be in the fresh air once more. A loud, angry rumble sounded in Yuffie's empty stomach. Vincent looked at her and she turned away, embarrassed.

"You're hungry." He murmured softly, as if he wished she'd told him. Heat rose to her cheeks and she muttered something more about the ice cream he'd promised her earlier. Without answering, he scanned the area for any type of food and found one. And only one. Nuts. They were everywhere he looked. /_Well, we need to eat something besides these. Perhaps I can catch a few fish to go with the nuts?_/ Vincent wondered, picking up a sharp looking stick. "Yuffie, do you have any string?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I need you to make this into a fishing rod." He tossed her the stick. She caught it easily and started working a hole into the end for the string. Her dark companion turned and went about collecting the food source he'd spotted a moment ago. He took his shirt off to put the nuts in, and had filled it almost completely when the shinobi announced her success. He stood up, his finely sculpted back facing her. "Excellent." He smiled, "Now I'll catch dinner. Yuffie, please hold my nuts."

"WHAT!" Came the incredulous reply. He turned to see her staring at him with a shocked expression on her face. "My nuts." He repeated, "I want you to hold them." At her continued wide eyed stare, he held the shirt out to her. "Oh." It finally registered, "Sorry Vinnie, I'm out of it from earlier. You know...when you **_humped me_**." He looked almost as embarrassed as she felt. They walked to the water's edge. She went on however, "Man, I think you dented my back! I'm going to be a hunchback! ...Only, it'll hunch in instead of out!"

Vincent rolled his eyes and cast his line into the water. It wasn't long before he felt a small tug and quickly pulled it in. Yet it was not a fish on the line. To his complete horror, he pulled from the hook what could only be described as the handkerchief. And of course, Yuffie noticed.

"Hey Vinnie! Isn't that your swimsuit?"

- -

Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, my computer is filled with viruses and hijackers. And I needed to finish it of course. Hope you like it. I plan on taking this fic through Advent Children too, so it'll be about 20 chapters or so. See you next chapter!

P.S. Also going to put out a horribly evil fic on how my twisted brain warps FFVII. Coming soon!


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